A George Washington University study that asked children why they play sports is an especially instructive one for coaches, parents and spectators involved in youth sports.

The number one reason children stop playing sports - something America has a major issue with, as 70% of children drop out of organized sports by age 13 - is that it stops being fun. Much of this can be traced to the child losing ownership of the experience, which is often the fault of a well-intentioned adult, be it a parent or coach.

Whether it's an unwanted play-by-play breakdown in the car on the way home, shouting instructions every few seconds and trying to micro-manage the player's moves ("Pass! Shoot! Dribble!") or screaming profanity at umpires when a call doesn't go your team's way, these moments can add up to souring a child's experience of sport.

None of us would appreciate a boss who stood over our shoulder and critiqued our every move at work, and kids don't generally want this either. Think about why so many kids love video games - nobody is standing over them, making demands.

As children move along the sporting spectrum towards higher-level competition - be it playing varsity or JV in high school, or making the choice to pursue playing in college - then winning and losing begins to matter more. Focus provides different levels of challenge in our tournament structures to accommodate this, but for the vast majority of practices, games and tournaments, our focus is on development and enjoyment, and we ask that our parents and spectators take a similar approach.

These guidelines apply to all parents and spectators during games and practices. Parents of participating children will be held responsible for their guests (aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors, etc) who have come to watch. Parents and spectators will at all times respect the spirit of fair play in field hockey. This is more than just playing within the rules. It also incorporates the concepts of friendship, respect for others and always participating with the right spirit.

• Always sit on the opposite sideline from the team during practices, games and immediately following the game. Use appropriate language and gestures; cheer on players positively. Allow the coach time to wrap up with the players; they will come to you when they are released. 
   

• Focus on the players' efforts, improvement and enjoyment rather than winning or losing, and cheer/appreciate good performance and skilful play by all participants. This is especially true for recreational programs such as AGFHL, where games will be modified to suit the age and stage of the players.

• Teach players that work ethic, positive attitude and teamwork are as important as victory, so the result of each game is evaluated by analyzing many factors, not just the score.

• Encourage people to settle disagreements on the sideline amicably without talking unfavorably about others or resorting to hostility or violence. Remember that you represent the club and your athlete, and that college coaches do take parents/family into consideration when making recruiting decisions.

• Respect the decisions of officials, and teach players to do the same. Leave the coach to communicate with individual players and refs on the field, and accept their decisions about playing time, positions and team assignments.

• If there is dissatisfaction from a player around issues such as rosters, playing time, playing position, conflict with a particular coach, coaching styles etc, Focus takes such matters seriously and has a procedure in place to address these. Players and parents are asked to wait until at least 24 hours after an issue arises to initiate any complaints via phone or email. Where appropriate, players should take the lead on initiating these conversations with coaches. Should these initial discussion with a coach not resolve the matter, we will arrange a meeting between the parent, player, relevant coach(es) and a Focus club director.  

• Realize that your actions and words affect your athlete, and that their longevity in sports may hinge on your support.

• There are many options for your family and we are thrilled you chose Focus. We take special care to do the best job possible with each of our athletes and, in return, we expect that Focus athletes play only with Focus. This helps our Focus coaches know that their efforts help both the athlete and the club and it helps to avoid unnecessary drama and conflict between clubs.